Royal Navy: Then And Now!

Captain Horatio Nelson,RN

Horatio Nelson: “Order the signal, Hardy.”

Hardy: “Aye, aye sir.”

Nelson: “Hold on, that’s not what I dictated to Flags. What’s the meaning of this?”

Hardy: “Sorry sir?”

Nelson (reading aloud): “‘ England expects every person to do his or her duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious persuasion or disability.’ – What gobbledygook is this?”

Hardy: “Admiralty policy, I’m afraid, sir. We’re an equal opportunities employer now. We had the devil’s own job getting ‘ England ‘ past the censors, lest it be considered racist.”

Nelson: “Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco.”

Hardy: “Sorry sir. All naval vessels have now been designated smoke-free working environments.”

Nelson: “In that case, break open the rum ration. Let us splice the main brace to steel the men before battle.”

Hardy: “The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. It’s part of the Government’s policy on binge drinking.”

Nelson: “Good heavens, Hardy. I suppose we’d better get on with it ……….. full speed ahead.”

Hardy: “I think you’ll find that there’s a 4 knot speed limit in this stretch of water.”

Nelson: “Damn it man! We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle in history. We must advance with all dispatch. Report from the crow’s nest please.”

Hardy: “That won’t be possible, sir.”

Nelson: “What?”

Hardy: “Health and Safety have closed the crow’s nest, sir. No harness No Access is the rule; and they said that rope ladders don’t meet regulations. They won’t let anyone up there until a proper scaffolding can be erected.”

Nelson: “Then get me the ship’s carpenter without delay, Hardy.”

Hardy: “He’s busy knocking up a wheelchair access to the foredeck Admiral.”

Nelson: “Wheelchair access? I’ve never heard anything so absurd.”

Hardy: “Health and safety again, sir. We have to provide a barrier-free environment for the differently abled.”

Nelson: “Differently abled? I’ve only one arm and one eye and I refuse even to hear mention of the word. I didn’t rise to the rank of admiral by playing the disability card.”

Hardy: “Actually, sir, you did. The Royal Navy is under represented in the areas of visual impairment and limb deficiency.”

Nelson: “Whatever next? Give me full sail. The salt spray beckons.”

Hardy: “A couple of problems there too, sir. Health and safety won’t let the crew up the rigging without hard hats. And they don’t want anyone breathing in too much salt – haven’t you seen the adverts?”

Nelson: “I’ve never heard such infamy. Break out the cannon and tell the men to stand by to engage the enemy..”

Hardy: “The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone, Admiral.”

Nelson: “What? This is mutiny!”

Hardy: “It’s not that, sir. It’s just that they’re afraid of being charged with murder if they actually kill anyone. There’s a couple of legal-aid lawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks.”

Nelson: “Then how are we to sink the Frenchies and the Spanish?”

Hardy: “Actually, sir, we’re not.”

Nelson: “We’re not?”

Hardy: “No, sir. The French and the Spanish are our European partners now. According to the Common Fisheries Policy, we shouldn’t even be in this stretch of water. We could get hit with a claim for compensation.”

Nelson: “But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil.”

Hardy: “I wouldn’t let the ship’s diversity coordinator hear you saying that sir. You’ll be up on disciplinary report.”

Nelson: “You must consider every man an enemy, who speaks ill of your King.”

Hardy: “Not any more, sir. We must be inclusive in this multicultural age. Now put on your Kevlar vest; it’s the rules. It could save your life”

Nelson: “Don’t tell me – health and safety. Whatever happened to rum, sodomy and the lash?”

Hardy: As I explained, sir, rum is off the menu! And there’s a ban on corporal punishment.”

Nelson: “What about sodomy?”

Hardy: “I believe that is now legal, sir.”

Nelson: “In that case, kiss me, Hardy.”

 

Posted in Humor, Idiots of the world unite, The idiocy of government. | Tagged , , , , ,

WHAT CAN I SAY?

by

COLONEL DONALD J. MYERS USMC (Ret)

Each week I listen to talk radio, read papers and magazines, and watch various TV shows while determining what I will write in my article for the latest issue. There are some weeks when it is really easy to write an article and other times when it is much more difficult. It is not that there is little to discuss, but where to place the emphasis. Education is always an issue since our educational system is so dismal in achieving positive results. We spend more on education than any other country in the world and yet our students are near the bottom in comparison to other countries in test results. Look at the percentage of our high school graduates who must take remedial courses in English, math, and science before taking regular college courses. Colleges could care less because they then receive more money and in too many cases students spend more than four years to complete their college degree.

 

Our economy is another subject that is a key issue to debate. Congress continues to spend like there is no tomorrow and our debt sours like an eagle on wings. How is it that as regular citizens, we must be aware of our own spending or else we face dire consequences and yet our government continues to put us our children and grandchildren in hock. We need only look at many of the countries in Europe that are in dire financial straits to learn what is in store for us unless we change our spending behavior.

 

As individuals, we look for people that we trust when we are making significant decisions involving finances, homes, automobiles, schools for our children, jobs, and elected officials. I hesitated when I added elected officials because I think that far too many do not consider trust when they go into the election booth. Rather than trust, they consider what their elected official will give them for their vote. We now have almost half of our working citizens who pay no federal income taxes and the largest percentage in history receiving food stamps.

 

It is still early before the next election and as a result many Americans are still not paying attention to what is happening in our country. I understand that most people are too involved in working, raising their children, and trying to make ends meet. They read a newspaper and probably watch a regular newscast. Many individuals spend countless hours chauffeuring their children to sport team practices or games. Look at the number of people who are recorded as undecided just days before an election. The current republican primaries have been going on for months and yet when people in the state that is ready to vote continue to report a high percentage of undecided voters.

 

The founding fathers knew that an informed electorate was the best guard against totalitarianism. They gambled their fortunes, honor, and lives in order for this nation to be free and some paid the ultimate price while others lost their fortunes. It is time for more Americans to be heard. We are facing one of the most significant challenges in our history and unless we demand that our voices be heard, we will cease to be the greatest nation in history. Our freedoms are being eroded a little bit at a time.

 

Posted in Big Government, How to get free stuff, How to get welfare, We are losing America! | Tagged , , , , ,

SANDRA FLUKE: nobama’s Bought And Paid For Girl.

Received this from an old friend (as in long time) Al:

FNN’S BILL O’REILLY BURSTS THE SANDRA FLUKE BUBBLE:

——————————————————————————-

FNN’s Bill O’Reilly’s sleuthing team has traced the gal who played center stage during the recent “free” contraception controversy, Sandra Fluke, directly back to Obama’s former Communications Director, Anita Dunn. One will recall that Dunn was the gal who helped develop the plans to keep Obama shielded from any cross examination by the media during the 2008 campaign. Dunn was caught on a European video bragging about who her team had duped the U.S. media during the campaign. Dunn is also a committed Mao Tse Tung supporter and managing Director of SKDKnickerbocker which is a communications consulting firm with Democrat Party ties.

In a somewhat ironic twist of events, Anita Dunn was able to turn a major problem for Obama into a short term win for the President (see paragraph below). For example, when Obama waded into the Catholic Church’s contraceptives beliefs by mandating that the Church’s health insurance policies for employees cover female contraceptive devices, the President’s polling among women too a nose dive. However, Dunn was able to spin this downward slide by getting Sandra Fluke to testify before a Congressional committee and make the plea that women’s health would benefit from “free” contraceptives. In short, Dunn spun the controversy away from an entitlement expansion and a religious infringement into an attempt by the GOP to endanger women’s health by denying the requirement for insurance companies to provide “free” contraceptives to women……….no mention of men’s contraceptives by the way!!!!!!!!!

But, Anita Dunn’s conquest may have been short lived. It only took a couple of days for FNN and O’Reilly to take Dunn’s spin routine apart. O’Reilly’s recent Talking Points memo connected the dots between Sandra Fluke and Anita Dunn (see video at the link below).

Also, I noticed that Obama’s bump up in the Rasmussen polls during the start of the Sandra Fluke controversy had slid 5 points downward to 44% Approval / 54% Disapproval last Saturday. These results tie some of the lowest Approval and highest Disapproval levels for Obama since his election.

Here’s a link to O’Reilly’s Talking Points memo from last Friday night. Worth the listen:

http://www.billoreilly.com/show?action=viewTVShow&showID=3084#1

And see Megyn Kelly’s response.

http://video.foxnews.com/v/1496559391001/?intcmp=obinsite

 

Posted in American taxpayers, Big Government, Down with the obama administration, Political shenanigans, Time for a change in government in Washington | Tagged , , , , ,

Islamic Terrorists Speak To God

Microchip Implant Allows Islamic Terrorists to Speak to God

The implant is specifically designed to be injected in the forehead. When properly installed, it will allow the terrorist to speak to God.

It comes in various sizes: Generally from .223 to .50 cal.

The exact size of the implant will be selected by a well- trained and highly skilled technician, who will also make the injection.

No anesthetic is required.

The implant may or may not be painless. Side effects, like headaches, nausea, aches and pains are extremely temporary.

Some bleeding or swelling may occur at the injection site. In most cases, you won’t even notice it.

Please enjoy the security we provide for you.

Best regards,

US Military

Suggested implant sites.

 

Posted in Humor, Muslim, radical muslim terrorist | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments

More Words To Us Every Day.

Here is a partial list of some of the new “dirty” words that you can’t write or say because they upset His Poppas Ass nobama and the Department of Homeland Un-Security.

Thanks to Animal and Scotty Starnes’s Blog

DHS Media Monitoring Terms

2.13 Key Words & Search Terms

 

This is a current list of terms that will be used by the NOC when monitoring social media sites to provide situational awareness and establish a common operating picture. As natural or manmade disasters occur, new search terms may be added.

 

The new search terms will not use PII in searching for relevant mission-related information.

 

DHS & Other Agencies

 

Department of Homeland Security (DHS)

Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA)

Coast Guard (USCG)

Customs and Border Protection (CBP)

Border Patrol

Secret Service (USSS)

National Operations Center (NOC)

Homeland Defense

Immigration Customs Enforcement (ICE)

Agent

Task Force

Central Intelligence Agency (CIA)

Fusion Center

Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA)

Secure Border Initiative (SBI)

Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)

Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms (ATF)

U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (CIS)

Federal Air Marshal Service (FAMS)

Transportation Security Administration (TSA)

Air Marshal

Federal Aviation Administration (FAA)

National Guard

Red Cross

United Nations (UN)

 

Domestic Security

 

Assassination

Attack

Domestic security

Drill

Exercise

Cops

Law enforcement

Authorities

Disaster assistance

Disaster management

DNDO (Domestic Nuclear Detection Office)

National preparedness

Mitigation

Prevention

Response

Recovery

Dirty Bomb

Domestic nuclear detection

Emergency management

Emergency response

First responder

Homeland security

Maritime domain awareness (MDA)

National preparedness initiative

Militia

Shooting

Shots fired

Evacuation

Deaths

Hostage

Explosion (explosive)

Police

Disaster medical assistance team (DMAT)

Organized crime

Gangs

National security

State of emergency

Security

Breach

Threat

Standoff

SWAT

Screening

Lockdown

Bomb (squad or threat)

Crash

Looting

Riot

Emergency Landing

Pipe bomb

Incident

Facility

 

HAZMAT & Nuclear

 

Hazmat

Nuclear

Chemical Spill

Suspicious package/device

Toxic

National laboratory

Nuclear facility

Nuclear threat

Cloud

Plume

Radiation

Radioactive

Leak

Biological infection (or event)

Chemical

Chemical burn

Biological

Epidemic

Hazardous

Hazardous material incident

Industrial spill

Infection

Powder (white)

Gas

Spillover

Anthrax

Blister agent

Exposure

Burn

Nerve agent

Ricin

Sarin

North Korea

 

Health Concern + H1N1

 

Outbreak

Contamination

Exposure

Virus

Evacuation

Bacteria

Recall

Ebola

Food Poisoning

Foot and Mouth (FMD)

H5N1

Avian

Flu

Salmonella

Small Pox

Plague

Human to human

Human to ANIMAL

Influenza

Center for Disease Control (CDC)

Drug Administration (FDA)

Public Health

Toxic

Agro Terror

Tuberculosis (TB)

Agriculture

Listeria

Symptoms

Mutation

Resistant

Antiviral

Wave

Pandemic

Infection

Water/air borne

Sick

Swine

Pork

Strain

Quarantine

H1N1

Vaccine

Tamiflu

Norvo Virus

Epidemic

World Health Organization (WHO and components)

Viral Hemorrhagic Fever

E. Coli

 

Infrastructure Security

 

Infrastructure security

Airport

CIKR (Critical Infrastructure & Key Resources)

AMTRAK

Collapse

Computer infrastructure

Communications infrastructure

Telecommunications

Critical infrastructure

National infrastructure

Metro

WMATA

Airplane (and derivatives)

Chemical fire

Subway

BART

MARTA

Port Authority

NBIC (National Biosurveillance Integration Center)

Transportation security

Grid

Power

Smart

Body scanner

Electric

Failure or outage

Black out

Brown out

Port

Dock

Bridge

Canceled

Delays

Service disruption

Power lines

 

Southwest Border Violence

 

Drug cartel

Violence

Gang

Drug

Narcotics

Cocaine

Marijuana

Heroin

Border

Mexico

Cartel

Southwest

Juarez

Sinaloa

Tijuana

Torreon

Yuma

Tucson

Decapitated

U.S. Consulate

Consular

El Paso

Fort Hancock

San Diego

Ciudad Juarez

Nogales

Sonora

Colombia

Mara salvatrucha

MS13 or MS-13

Drug war

Mexican army

Methamphetamine

Cartel de Golfo

Gulf Cartel

La Familia

Reynose

Nuevo Leon

Narcos

Narco banners (Spanish equivalents)

Los Zetas

Shootout

Execution

Gunfight

Trafficking

Kidnap

Calderon

Reyosa

Bust

Tamaulipas

Meth Lab

Drug trade

Illegal immigrants

Smuggling (smugglers)

Matamoros

Michoacana

Guzman

Arellano-Felix

Beltran-Leyva

Barrio Azteca

Artistics Assassins

Mexicles

New Federation

 

Terrorism

 

Terrorism

Al Queda (all spellings)

Terror

Attack

Iraq

Afghanistan

Iran

Pakistan

Agro

Environmental terrorist

Eco terrorism

Conventional weapon

Target

Weapons grade

Dirty bomb

Enriched

Nuclear

Chemical weapon

Biological weapon

Ammonium nitrate

Improvised explosive device

IED (Improvised Explosive Device)

Abu Sayyaf

Hamas

FARC (Armed Revolutionary Forces Colombia)

IRA (Irish Republican Army)

ETA (Euskadi ta Askatasuna)

Basque Separatists

Hezbollah

Tamil Tiger

PLF (Palestine Liberation Front)

PLO (Palestine Libration Organization)

Car bomb

Jihad

Taliban

Weapons cache

Suicide bomber

Suicide attack

Suspicious substance

AQAP (Al Qaeda Arabian Peninsula)

AQIM (Al Qaeda in the Islamic Maghreb)

TTP (Tehrik-i-Taliban Pakistan)

Yemen

Pirates

Extremism

Somalia

Nigeria

Radicals

Al-Shabaab

Home grown

Plot

Nationalist

Recruitment

Fundamentalism

Islamist

 

Weather/Disaster/Emergency

 

Emergency

Hurricane

Tornado

Twister

Tsunami

Earthquake

Tremor

Flood

Storm

Crest

Temblor

Extreme weather

Forest fire

Brush fire

Ice

Stranded/Stuck

Help

Hail

Wildfire

Tsunami Warning Center

Magnitude

Avalanche

Typhoon

Shelter-in-place

Disaster

Snow

Blizzard

Sleet

Mud slide or Mudslide

Erosion

Power outage

Brown out

Warning

Watch

Lightening

Aid

Relief

Closure

Interstate

Burst

Emergency Broadcast System

 

Cyber Security

 

Cyber security

Botnet

DDOS (dedicated denial of service)

Denial of service

Malware

Virus

Trojan

Keylogger

Cyber Command

2600

Spammer

Phishing

Rootkit

Phreaking

Cain and abel

Brute forcing

Mysql injection

Cyber attack

Cyber terror

Hacker

China

Conficker

Worm

Scammers

Social media

 

Posted in Down with the obama administration, First Amendment Rights, Impeach obama now, The idiocy of government., Time for a change in government in Washington, We are losing America! | Tagged , , , , , , ,

If This Were Only True!

Heaven and Hell!

While walking down the street one day a Corrupt Senator (that may be redundant) was tragically hit by a car and died.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

“Welcome to heaven,” says St.. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”

“No problem, just let me in,” says the Senator.

“Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”

“Really?, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,” says the Senator.

“I’m sorry, but we have our rules.”

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course.

In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.

They played a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and the finest champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who is having a good time dancing and telling jokes.

They are all having such a good time that before the Senator realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises.

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in heaven where

St. Peter is waiting for him, “Now it’s time to visit heaven…”

So, 24 hours passed with the Senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

“Well, then, you’ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.”

The Senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: “Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.”

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell…

Now the doors of the elevator open and he’s in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls to the ground.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulders.

“I don’t understand,” stammers the Senator. “Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?”

The devil smiles at him and says,

“Yesterday we were campaigning, today, you voted..”

 

 

 

 

Posted in Election 2012, Humor | Tagged ,

Good Work VFW!

We Veterans don’t take well to having Our Flag disrespected. Hat’s off to this Veterans of Foreign Wars post Commander.

Posted in Winning back America! | Tagged , ,